It is normal. Does that way of … Keeping spending secrets is a major violation of trust and a fast track to disaster. You are entitled every bit of privacy you want. Proverbs 11:13 A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence. I am going to college and staying with my brother and his wife. When someone tells you a secret, listen very closely to the secret. Second, feelings of disagreement have to settle somewhere, and when they are unresolved, they usually turn into resentment. Reply. Is it ok to keep a secret like this? I have this friend from my closest friend group, who used to like me and flirt even after he got engaged. Potentially Damaging Secrets: Sometimes, kids are asked to keep secrets with the best of intentions, but those secrets can still be damaging. Some things are ok though, if it is needed to know about to support you. That is a great exception. June 12, 2016, 9:20am #12. As long as they are both OK with it and have no reasons to suspect each other - that's fine. Keeping secrets can impact relationships with friends, classmates, and co-workers. If you are leaning toward keeping your secret, make sure you take into account how this creates distance in your relationship (even if only in a small way) – is it a problem? I could barely function. Secrets are NOT ok to keep if someone is hurting, or might be hurt, otherwise, keep the mystery in life. I think some secrets are ok. They need to know to tell an adult as soon as they can. First, it’s a silent lie. Knowing when to keep things to yourself and when to fess up to your man isn’t nearly as tricky as you might think. Jack Wellman November 9, 2016 at 12:00 pm. Remind children frequently not to keep unsafe secrets. But that promise ruined my Ramadan, made me unhappy all through eid and its just generally really making me very miserable. While hiding money isn't necessarily indicative of infidelity, he says, it usually is "a way of avoiding" deeper problems in the relationship. You might be able to accept secrecy knowing that, on a precise date, things are going to be changing. Some spouses don't share passwords to each other e-mails and still mantain happy marriages. Mind. I figure I'm starting to hate this girl just because I promised to keep things a secret. Quietly disagreeing with a decision a spouse makes undermines the relationship in two ways. I keep secrets. 3. Before knowing he had a girlfriend and planed to get married I flirted back, but after finding out I distanced myself. I could barely function. Keeping Secrets Is Bad for You—This Is Why Hiding information from others is not as stressful as thinking about it. I don’t have these terrible pains each month. “Keeping secrets” is a bit different from lying or being dishonest. But it’s quite another keeping a relationship secret indefinitely. Csummers June 12, 2016, 7:36am #11. 1 0. mccmb02. 4 Reasons Why Keeping Secrets Can Damage A Relationship 1. My mother and I have a very close relationship. Well, yes and no. But if you’re doing these things, you might be taking your “privacy” to the extreme by being overly secretive about your relationship. It’ll make you feel guilty, and put you on edge. My doctor put me on medication that stopped my periods. Is it OK to keep this a secret from my mom? OK, so we all know that keeping secrets in relationships is bad, right? These 9 subjects are expert-approved ones. I promised a friend that I would keep a secret. From your question description, it seems that: 1) You are not in a good relationship with your sister. The same goes for him if the shoe was on the other foot. Disagreement. Children need to know they should never keep secrets that break safety rules for private body parts. As a result, you'd like to get revenge by telling her "secret" to her spouse. 4. There are some secrets it's OK to keep from your partner. You are an adult with your own life. It’s ok to fantasize about what an ex did in bed every now and then. Can You Keep a Secret? I guess that’s how that fits in Joe. It’s one thing knowing your partner wants to keep things secret for a few weeks, or maybe even a few months, until circumstances have changed or a certain event has passed. Reassure your children that it is okay to break a promise not to tell a secret about touching. My problem is the medication that stops my periods is also a birth control. I don’t have these terrible pains each month. August 2, 2013 — Sandra Upson. Posted Jul 06, 2017 It is wonderful. flameoftherhine. Most secrets are ok to keep and not tell anyone else. And while keeping a secret and lying outright are different behaviors, a parent whose example puts secrets and lies in similar strata can be showing a child that it’s ok to be only partially honest about important things. It is wonderful. Despite popular belief having a best friend doesn't mean you keep nothing from them. My doctor put me on medication that stopped my periods. For example, if you know that a kid says he’s going to beat someone up or steal something, then that’s a secret you should tell to an adult who can help. I started to have painful periods. You don’t need to tell your mom everything. It also means that I'm being incredibly dishonest with another friend, and risking losing that friendship. 4. In the grand scheme of things, it's a bad idea to keep major secrets from your partner. 1 decade ago. My problem is the medication that stops my periods is also a birth control. Proverbs 25:9 When arguing with your neighbor, d on’t betray another person’s secret. If you're not quite ready to spill your guts and keep the mess under cover, you can still get the best parts of secret-keeping out of your daily life right now. January 25, 2012 — Maria Konnikova. 10 Differences Between Keeping Your Relationship Private & Keeping It A Secret. If your man knows you’re keeping secrets or those secrets come out when you least expect it, he might not trust you anymore. If you love someone, you shouldn’t find it easy to deceive them, even if you’re just lying by omission rather than lying to their face. Most people struggle to keep secrets from their partner and suffer from guilt when they do, and that’s the way it should be. The problem is, there really are some secrets you can keep. Keeping financial secrets "is almost never a good sign" and usually signals other, unresolved relationship problems, says Eric Dammann, PhD, a New York-based clinical psychologist and financial coach. Maybe You Shouldn't, Even If You Can. It was 5 days of hell. For example, if a husband is planning a surprise birthday party for his wife, that’s a “secret” that’s being kept. However, keeping secrets is wrong if it means someone else could get hurt or get into big trouble. Real fam, do you think it is EVER ok to keep a secret from bae? That's a secret that's not OK to keep at all. How does that fit into what you wrote, Jack? Just keep these fantasies to yourself to protect your partner’s ego. Make sure you both know that it is a secret. It all depends on the secret. 2. 1. They got married and seem happy now. Dreams are ok to keep a secret. Most secrets in relationships aren't good — that much is true. It was 5 days of hell. Dishonesty equals disunity. That aside I'd like to talk about secrets in general. I am going to college and staying with my brother and his wife. If a friend tells you what she bought Sue for her birthday, it is ok to keep that a secret. Sure. Tough Love; By Averi Clements; Lots of couples prefer to keep their love lives quiet and there’s nothing wrong with that. So good to hear from you my friend. Tell them you will believe them, even if the secret is about someone you know. Telltale Language Reveals Who Is Keeping a Secret. If you decide to disclose your secret to your partner, then think about the best way to do this, anticipate the possible responses, and consider the best ways to handle those responses. I started to have painful periods. Proverbs 12:23 The prudent keep their knowledge to themselves, but a fool’s heart blurts out folly. Try to remember that you can only talk about that secret with the person who told it to you. As they are both ok with it and have no Reasons to each. Keeping it a secret, listen very closely to the secret is about someone you.. With my brother and his wife telling her `` secret '' to her.. It means someone else could get hurt or get into big trouble fits Joe! Not to tell your mom everything there really are some secrets you can only about... That break safety rules for private body parts keep at all rules for private body parts about. 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